Southernosity

Our friend, Julie, sent the following to me. I found myself laughing and feeling homesick at the same time. The last one is my favorite!

SOUTHERNOSITY

A Southerner knows the difference between a "hissy fit" and "conniption fit," and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

A Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder".

A Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess".

A Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

A Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who has trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

A Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!


Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

True Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.