Not Born To Be Wild

Got my Mother's Day present early! The girls picked it out and couldn't wait another week. Was it one of those homemade cards I love so much? No. Roses or tulips? Again, no. You can keep guessing but you'll never get it right.

They got me a bike. A pretty pink bike. A big bike. A bike with only two wheels. This last detail is one Katherine thinks we should reconsider. After seeing me make a wobbly loop around the driveway, she actually had the audacity to ask if the stores sell training wheels for grown-ups.

Forget the training wheels. I'd like to meet the genius who decided that, as you get older and your bottom gets bigger, the bike seat should get smaller. And somebody please explain to me why the brakes have to be on the handlebars. I'm sure those real cyclists - you know, the ones with the neon spandex - have some compelling arguments. But there should be options for those of us who aren't real cyclists. Those of us who long for the days of banana seats, baskets on the front, and pink and purple streamers on the handlebars. Those of us who stay off the main roads and wear our spandex under our clothing!

Think about it.