The Dumbest Thing Ever

This is a follow up on my story about the prisoner who escaped and was on the loose in our community a few weeks back. The one who decided to strip out of his clothes to make a run for it in the middle of an ice storm.

He broke into a home, logged onto the owner's computer, did a map search for directions to the hotel where he planned to meet up with his wife.

He forgot to log off. When the owner discovered her house had been burglarized, she also noticed that her computer had been used...and the directions were right there on the screen.

Oh Happy Day

Good news. Besides a few sniffles, we're all pretty much free of the sicknesses that have plagued us for weeks. Stomach bugs (yes, plural), ear infections, pink eye, the flu. All (fingers crossed!) behind us.

More good news. All of Katherine's good luck rituals - wearing her pj's backwards, putting a spoon under her pillow, etc. - worked! She was hoping for a delayed school opening this morning due to the snow overnight, but we got enough snow that they actually had to cancel school altogether. I have some happy girls here this morning!

And still more good news. Isaac got his first report card! Considering the subject, I am very pleased with Goodman's remarks:

"Isaac is a very happy, very busy little boy when he's at school. He loves playing in the blocks, dramatic play, and water table areas. He is quite verbal and loves to sing as well (though his speech is sometimes difficult to understand). Isaac is still working on name recognition, though his ability to count is strong. We enjoy his enthusiasm."

Going From Bad To Worse

I have to tell about my trip to the dentist yesterday.

It was bad enough having to start the day off at 8:00 a.m. to get fitted for my first crown. Yuck. But, in a million years, I never imagined myself being stuck in the dentist chair while my dentist chased her assistant around the office.

It all started when the assistant, Sharon, refused, for some reason or another, to come into the room to assist. I had already received one shot, so my dentist left me lying there with a 200,000 volt spotlight in my eyes to go and have a little chat with Sharon. The little chat escalated into an all out shouting match which resulted in the dentist actually chasing her assistant around the office yelling, "You're fired!" and "Get out!" Sharon continued to run...and the dentist continued to chase. This went on for about 30 minutes and didn't end until the police were called.


Why I stayed there in that chair, I can't really say. I debated whether I should get up and run out myself, but I kept thinking about how I'd already had that shot, and if I came back later, we'd have to start all over again. Plus, I had already paid for the crown. So I waited it out. On my back. With my now diminished eyesight. And when the dentist finally came back to me, I knew it wasn't going to be good.


You can imagine what frame of mind she was in at this point. Had I thought things through better, I would have thought about that as well. And, since she had lost her assistant, she was doing everything herself. She took some kind of hook and used it to attach my lip to the light... and then she proceeded to drill on my teeth. Taking out all her frustrations of the morning on my mouth, bits of teeth - my teeth - were flying. (Remember, there was no one there with that little vacuum thingy.) I don't know what was worse - having my lip stretched out and twisted around behind my head while I endured her various forms of torture, or the fear of disgruntled Sharon going postal and coming back for another round.


Needless to say, I am now shopping around for a new dentist. And a mental health professional to go with me.

How Did This Happen?

This is how Dylan went to school this morning. After opening some tainted mail that arrived yesterday, she was armed to do her best to corrupt the youth of New Jersey.

Bad Boys Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?

Our quiet little community has seen it's fair share of drama in the last few weeks.

The first incidence happened when someone reported seeing something suspicious at the bank. Following is a direct quote from the newspaper detailing what happened. (Really. I promise.)


"...when police arrived, they saw what they thought was the outline of a person in a "secluded area'' of the bank and later requested assistance from the county SWAT team, which evacuated three nearby apartment buildings as a precaution.Meanwhile, authorities used bullhorns and made telephone calls in a bid to make contact with whoever might be in the bank. After repeatedly failing to get a response, the SWAT team, using a key provided by a bank employee, entered the building shortly after 10 p.m. and soon discovered the cardboard figure."

So, it was a little over-reaction to a cardboard advertisement, but I'm happy that they're eager to keep us safe. Which brings me to the second incident.


Yesterday, a convict escaped from a work release program less than 2 miles from our house. After finding his prison suit on the grounds of the elementary school, all schools went into lockdown mode. Of course, this sent our peaceful little town into a tizzy. Fifty police (that would be about 48 state police in addition to our local force) swarmed the area. The rest of us hid inside behind our locked doors. At one point I was sure I had spotted him hiding behind the neighbor's woodpile, and even had the phone in my hand, until I realized it was only a covering blowing in the wind. Glad I didn't make that call.

As of now, they still haven't caught the guy. But I would hope that a dimwit who would choose to ditch his clothes and make a run for it in the middle of an ice storm wouldn't be able to allude the good guys for too long. Even a cardboard figure has more brains than that.

Here's To a Great 2009

This is my first 2009 post, so I refuse to be negative. I won't talk about Dylan's stomach bug that hit on Christmas day. I will refrain from discussing the stomach bug that hit at least 4/5 of the family again within 2 hours of returning home and is still lingering. (Too soon to rule out 5/5). Let's also skip the details of a long, long, long 2800 mile roadtrip and how we arrived to a home that was 40 degrees inside because the heater had shut off. And I won't add that Scott pulled a muscle hauling in firewood to heat the house and is still in a lot of pain. And I'm not even going to think about Alabama at the Sugar Bowl.

Come to think of it, I don't have much to say. We enjoyed being in Alabama. It's beautiful. It's warm. It's home. We loved seeing and spending time with our families. There's no better way to spend the holiday. So, on a positive note, I hope y'all have a very Happy New Year!